..in circles..

I am craving change. I am not exactly sure what I want and how to go about getting it. It is safe to say I am stuck, not in a bad way but nonetheless; frustrating. I am stuck in emotions and that never does anyone any good. I'm trying to let go of a nasty feeling that just doesn't belong with me anymore. I am trying to stay positive and most of all productive, because if I let myself sit out too long I might just stay there.
 I have new plans for my future; business minor?, more cooking, research research and more research, more writing, work work... oh yes! and work.  I am content...yes...yes I am. Now, let me just get out of the grasp of this quick sand that is slowing me down and I'll be set and ready to let things flow again.  :D

   

struggles.

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While trying to keep calm and remain productive, I've been delayed from progress for a little while. It's the things of the heart that are a little bit thougher to deal with, but I have become a stronger person so I am trying to deal with this round as best I can.
We have to keep moving and anticipate the new things that are to come rather than get stuck on one depressing way of thinking. ....

Here's a poem I wrote(guess I did make a little progress) <3


I’m getting used to the sour taste of you
without the sweet lingering sensation …I used to like so much
I’m struggling with the difference
Of not having you around to bring me dooown
Then be redeemed by holding me so high up
I swear I’m in oblivion
I’m too caught up
In hating you
To even begin to miss you
My heads in the clouds
And I swear…I don’t ever want to come back down
To feel your absence
To feel anything at all …towards or against you
Please…don’t ever let me come down
I don’t want to hear
The blow of anything you have to say
I want to make you into a stranger
Before I start feeling lost
..without you
And forgive my ignorance
But I’m a bit too light headed
To even begin to describe
That way I used to adore you
With a sense of any sanity left
you’ve drilled a lack of emotion
In the way I feel about….. anything at all
Everything aches
And I’m a couple shakes away
From feeling the pain



 ...have a lovely day and smile!!!!!

keep calm and make tea.

Drinking tea, researching, and working on new pieces to post :) Will be posting new works soon!

here

Today I began running again, and it feels sooooo good. The wind rushing in my ears, my head throbbing, and my heart energized ready for a long hard run. I did cross country for 3 years because I absolutely love long distance  running and I miss it. It's been a while but I plan to keep at it this time. Exercising gives you lots and lots of extra energy it's no lie, and I need all the energy I can get :)

I am hoping I can run longer and harder in about a week because I gave up easy tonight :)



ra! -have a great night!!!

books! books! books!

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Good Morning! It is a absolutely beautiful Sunday! The sun is out and all I want to do is sip my tea and bask in it's warmth! mmmmmm!  Here is my reading list for this summer :)
Feel free to suggest some ...I go through books like I go through cups of tea :)
These are all the books that have been recommended to me and I have been meaning to read!

1. The Metamorphosis- Franz Kafka
2. Another Roadside Attraction- Tom Robbins
3. Three Cups of Tea- Greg Mortenson
4. The Picture of Dorian- Oscar Wilde
5. Emotional Intelligence-  Daniel Coleman
6. The Wisdom of the Desert- Thomas Merton
7. Dharma Bums- Jack Kerouac (again!)

 Off to my backyard to enjoy this lovely day!

    "If you are cold,                         
        tea will warm you.
       If you are too heated,
        it will cool you.
      If you are depressed
        it will cheer you.
      If you are excited 
         it will calm you."                


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fork in my road!

I would love to visit a library this big....I would spend hours and hours emerged in books!!!

libraries here.

OH MY! So here I am stressed out of my mind! Researching the requirements for the school I want to transfer to and BOOM! Tuition is $36,000 plus all expenses and fees and rent, etc. all adding up to over $50,000.Holy cow! Even with loans and aid will I be able to survive paying this kind of money??? So I am slowly coming to terms with the fact I won't be going to art school. Do I even need to go to art school? I honestly don't think so...but the classes they offer the challenges they put you up to seem so grand. Oh well. Now I am faced with the decisions of were I will go to school and where I want to live. I guess this summer I must figure all this out and decide whether i want to postpone planning my trips to Ireland and India. It seems like I have all the time in the world but I must keep being productive. Maybe I will go study abroad? or just keep taking all the classes in the world....sigh! For now....I'll keep researching and drawing and painting and writing of course.

note to self: live in the moment!