Brightest Smiles.

Viktor Sheleg

     I have been lagging on posts since my first day at the new job; Starbucks and I cant express how grateful having this job makes me feel. I am truly blessed. Starbucks coffee isn't the best or even close to being my favorite I am not going to lie, but its caffeinated and it makes people happy. So making it and getting payed for it makes ME happy.

    In other news...I have just finished the last beer I will be having in 60 days. It's a fitness thing...as well as being vegetarian for these 60 days. It's added to a deal I made with one of my new co-workers. He will be doing Insanity and I running and P90X. I have been meaning to start since New Years but I am the queen of procrastination(2012 or not). Things are looking up for people around me and it makes me feel good. I made a promise that I would start taking my spirituality more seriously if I got this much needed job. Not only did I get it but it was such a raise from my old job, "the boi" got a job and things are looking good for a lot of loved ones and random people around me. Sooo...I dare you to tell me that there is no above. I have been spiritually dormant for the longest time, and I really am sick of it. I have a lot to be thankful for and I know my family and friends aren't just "lucky" someone has got their back. God is a touchy subject for everyone but being God-fearing since your little years can make a major impact on how you take life in and how you process things. I personally have accepted the challenge. 

   p.s. I have decided to apply to The Art Institute of California-Orange County and study for a  Degree in Baking/Pastry. Of course, this wont be until next Winter but I am starting to figure things out. Hopefully for the better this time.

  p.s.s. Check out my brothers new blog http://snapshotunleashed.blogspot.com/. This kid inspires the shit out of me!

Cleansing.

doodles n' scribbles.

     Spring Clean can't come soon enough, so I have decided to start a simple but important sweep NOW. I am going through all my old journals/sketchbooks and pulling out important information that I wrote down, inspirations, passwords, user-names', quotes, interesting sites, book lists, anything that I may have jotted down that was relevant to me at the time. I am pulling all of it out and organizing it so that I may compile it into one journal and have it ready as a source for myself. It is better that searching frantically for something I scribbled down not remembering which notebook I wrote it in, or forgetting a username, an address, or amazing artist I found three months ago.

   The reason I want it all on something tangible is that as much as I love technology I don't trust is as much as most do. I love having my notes/sketchbooks/journals in hand and jotting things as they happen before I forget. Of course the only problem is I am not organized so I loose track of what is in which. Although this is a tedious task I quite enjoy going through my old books. Little surprises sometimes pop up that I had dismissed from my memory. I also love reminiscing over "ancient" things of my past, I think this is why I am a pack rat. Oh! But I can't help it. Tokens from past experiences are like tiny little secrets and it is lovely to me to look back and feel nostalgic for a bit.













                                                             notes.

Networks.

                                          -Ernest Hemingway 
  Facebook has become beyond  irritating to me!. I have realized that I don't really give one shit about what people say on it.... I may just need a break from it ...we'll see.
      I would much rather read blogs and see pictures people post, I think those are better windows to peoples souls and who they are. It allows you to learn from people and share with people who have similar interest. Blogs are more in depth, and Pictures are "time, captured". The kind of pictures people like and post can say a lot.

Well, I got rid of mine. Mostly because I am going hermit status for a while. Doing some soul-searching and some past-erasing. Time to get out of this "zombie-daze" and move on with life...I got a big dream I need to begin to turn from wistful to real.

Recovery.

                  Okay, time to be honest. I have been feeling quite down for the past couple months. Feeling "down" whatever that may include; sad, angry, lost, lonely, anxious, etc. is not fun. It pulls you down until you cry and cry and pity yourself for no damn reason. I have doubted myself many many times and I think it's about time I stop it. The whole time I had the support of my family and "the boi" (what I call my lovely boyfriend to others), but feeling and overabundance of all those bad feelings can blind you from seeing all the good you have. Well, things seem like they are looking up...or maybe it's me that is finally looking up after keeping my head down for a long while. 

I am done with this storm and ready to take control of my life with a little help from above.

Vivid Dreamin'

   
         My dream is no longer to be an artist that illustrates.paints.or captures moments on film/video/etc….but to CREATE and provide a space for those kinds of artist to gather and coexist…a place where ideas will bounce off multi-colored walls….where books will be read that inspire…where food and drink will unite different dreams….a place with a wide open door…for anyone with an open mind…words and good vibes will flow….flowers will grow on a patio outside with chairs and tables that promise only wonderful thoughts….art will be sold to an excited waiting audience…and my place will be an open place. one to share secrets.dreams.ideas.muses.inspirations.tears.sorrows.joy….in the end…it will be a happy place. THAT is my dream to be THAT kind of artist. ^___^
ps. after a long slow proccess of growth…I know what I want….
the trick now…is getting there…

pull my daisy.

daisy

    

       Moving back to Irvine Ca. for two months since our lease is up here in Tustin. Then at the end of August it's back to the Bay! 

Boxing up all my books and I came across my Allen Ginsberg book, i'll leave you with one of my favorite poems int there and a couple of pictures from my files to enjoy. July is coming and I cannot wait to go home.

Pull my daisy

tip my cup

all my doors are open

Cut my thoughts 

for coconuts

all my eggs are broken

Jack my Arden

gate my shades

woe my road is spoken

Silk my gardens

rose my days

now my prayers awaken

Bone my shadow

dove my dream

start my halo bleeding

Milk my mind &

make me cream

drink me when you're ready

Hop my heart on

harp my height

seraphs hold me steady

Hip my angel

hype my light

lay it on the needy

Heal the raindrop

sow the eye

bust my dust again

Woe my worm

work the wise

dig my spade the same

Stop the hoax

what's the hex

where's the wake

how's the hicks

take my golden beam

Rob my locker

lick my rocks

leap my cock in school

Rack my lacks 

lark my looks

jump right up my hole

Whore my door

beat my boor

eat my snake of fool

Craze my hair

bare my poor

asshole shorn of wool

Say my oops

ope my shell

bite my naked nut

Roll my bones

ring my bell

call my worm to sup

Pope my parts

pop my pot

raise my daisy up

Poke my pap

pit my plum

let my gap be shut

       - Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, and Neal Cassady <3

                                         New York, 1949

P.S. READ Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac  GO here for summary. 

-Julia Randall

-Brian Viveros

Inspirations for my future Tea House.