wintering.

mmmmm...can you feel it?
The cold air fighting it's way here, the cool breeze of winter teasing?
I have stayed away because I am learning to experience things with a new open mind. I am staying positive and working on creating my future.

There's more to come.....

but for now...this will suffice.

..in circles..

I am craving change. I am not exactly sure what I want and how to go about getting it. It is safe to say I am stuck, not in a bad way but nonetheless; frustrating. I am stuck in emotions and that never does anyone any good. I'm trying to let go of a nasty feeling that just doesn't belong with me anymore. I am trying to stay positive and most of all productive, because if I let myself sit out too long I might just stay there.
 I have new plans for my future; business minor?, more cooking, research research and more research, more writing, work work... oh yes! and work.  I am content...yes...yes I am. Now, let me just get out of the grasp of this quick sand that is slowing me down and I'll be set and ready to let things flow again.  :D

   

struggles.

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While trying to keep calm and remain productive, I've been delayed from progress for a little while. It's the things of the heart that are a little bit thougher to deal with, but I have become a stronger person so I am trying to deal with this round as best I can.
We have to keep moving and anticipate the new things that are to come rather than get stuck on one depressing way of thinking. ....

Here's a poem I wrote(guess I did make a little progress) <3


I’m getting used to the sour taste of you
without the sweet lingering sensation …I used to like so much
I’m struggling with the difference
Of not having you around to bring me dooown
Then be redeemed by holding me so high up
I swear I’m in oblivion
I’m too caught up
In hating you
To even begin to miss you
My heads in the clouds
And I swear…I don’t ever want to come back down
To feel your absence
To feel anything at all …towards or against you
Please…don’t ever let me come down
I don’t want to hear
The blow of anything you have to say
I want to make you into a stranger
Before I start feeling lost
..without you
And forgive my ignorance
But I’m a bit too light headed
To even begin to describe
That way I used to adore you
With a sense of any sanity left
you’ve drilled a lack of emotion
In the way I feel about….. anything at all
Everything aches
And I’m a couple shakes away
From feeling the pain



 ...have a lovely day and smile!!!!!

keep calm and make tea.

Drinking tea, researching, and working on new pieces to post :) Will be posting new works soon!

here

Today I began running again, and it feels sooooo good. The wind rushing in my ears, my head throbbing, and my heart energized ready for a long hard run. I did cross country for 3 years because I absolutely love long distance  running and I miss it. It's been a while but I plan to keep at it this time. Exercising gives you lots and lots of extra energy it's no lie, and I need all the energy I can get :)

I am hoping I can run longer and harder in about a week because I gave up easy tonight :)



ra! -have a great night!!!

books! books! books!

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Good Morning! It is a absolutely beautiful Sunday! The sun is out and all I want to do is sip my tea and bask in it's warmth! mmmmmm!  Here is my reading list for this summer :)
Feel free to suggest some ...I go through books like I go through cups of tea :)
These are all the books that have been recommended to me and I have been meaning to read!

1. The Metamorphosis- Franz Kafka
2. Another Roadside Attraction- Tom Robbins
3. Three Cups of Tea- Greg Mortenson
4. The Picture of Dorian- Oscar Wilde
5. Emotional Intelligence-  Daniel Coleman
6. The Wisdom of the Desert- Thomas Merton
7. Dharma Bums- Jack Kerouac (again!)

 Off to my backyard to enjoy this lovely day!

    "If you are cold,                         
        tea will warm you.
       If you are too heated,
        it will cool you.
      If you are depressed
        it will cheer you.
      If you are excited 
         it will calm you."                


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fork in my road!

I would love to visit a library this big....I would spend hours and hours emerged in books!!!

libraries here.

OH MY! So here I am stressed out of my mind! Researching the requirements for the school I want to transfer to and BOOM! Tuition is $36,000 plus all expenses and fees and rent, etc. all adding up to over $50,000.Holy cow! Even with loans and aid will I be able to survive paying this kind of money??? So I am slowly coming to terms with the fact I won't be going to art school. Do I even need to go to art school? I honestly don't think so...but the classes they offer the challenges they put you up to seem so grand. Oh well. Now I am faced with the decisions of were I will go to school and where I want to live. I guess this summer I must figure all this out and decide whether i want to postpone planning my trips to Ireland and India. It seems like I have all the time in the world but I must keep being productive. Maybe I will go study abroad? or just keep taking all the classes in the world....sigh! For now....I'll keep researching and drawing and painting and writing of course.

note to self: live in the moment!

time to play.

JOHN KENN

      To help me be more productive I composed this list to remind me of a few things I would love to do, and to complete or begin them before I turn 21. Imagine! If I make a list each year, all the things I can accomplish! Have a wonderful Sunday!

1. update blog.
2. paint on a big canvas.
3. give everyone and everything a chance.
4. try both sardines and anchovies.
5. make at least one person smile every other day.
6. organize all your recipes.
7. start trying those recipes.
8. take my hard classes first.
9. buy a chalkboard.
10. learn to make a quilt.
11. go to farmers markets more often.
12. eat more fruit.
13. call mom.dad.and siblings more often.
14. begin reading list of books.
15. get a new job.
16. drink more water.
17. get more ink for typewriter.
18. start writing again.
19. take a trip to the San Diego zoo.
20. start an inspiration wall.

de colores.

I have come to terms with the fact that I will be staying in Irvine for longer than I expected. 8 months have passed since I moved here and at first I hated it. It was dreadful. Irvine is a robotic town with nothing to do and nothing to look at. Recently I have started school in Santa Ana, the town right next to Irvine. Its comical the extreme difference one street can make. In Santa Ana I feel at home, I feel like I can thrive and learn so much more here. The people are nice and talkative. It’s an artistic town with art walks, galleries, art right and left. I have finally opened my heart to what IS, to where I am, and to NOW. I have to motivate myself, to find things that intrigue and amuse me and most of all to create. I am learning to detach myself from people in the sense where I don’t need certain people in order to feel loved. Where I embrace myself and love myself and only then will I be able to love others and find amusement in everything I find.

I began this blog 9 months ago before I left Cotati in a hope that when I moved here I’d be learning so many things, but I shut myself out from possibilities, from change, and forgot to embrace the power of today, and the mysteries of tomorrow, and forgot to make the best of what IS. Now I have regained my "unff" the urge and need to be productive and the thirst for knowledge and new things
One of my favorite things to do is to make people smile, with little gifts or drawings or quotes, or video links. Things I know they will like and appreciate.

So this blog is for the sole purpose of sharing my inspirations, things that amuse me and catch my eye, things that interest me, things that make me smile and feel good inside, things that motivate me and encourage me to create, things I simply like, and things that make me happy, as well as my own creations, writings,notes and letters. All this in the hope that it will too inspire you, make you smile, and feel good. It's what I like to call adding color. My life is a blank canvas and it's up to me to add color to it, while splashing some onto other canvases around me as well.

reject.

I have been reading and listening to countless books and people that have anything at all to teach me. It is up to me to follow the path to enlightenment, accepting everything that comes my way. I will share my path and things I learn with you, because in that way I will convince myself of my new finds. Little things that bring happiness, creations, quotes...anything that allows me to accept who I am and who i am becoming......

"I am beautiful, I am bountiful, I am blissful"